"Julie and I think you ought to wear two girdles, Charlie," Elaineexplained. "You need to be as flat as you can down there." OK," I said. I began to pull one of the girdles on over my underpants."Ah!" Elaine said, reaching for another package. "We also think youshould wear women's knickers. We noticed that your underpants create somebumps and ridges in your dress, you see. Knickers are a much finermaterial, and won't show anywhere near as much."Elaine handed me a pair of large cotton knickers. "OK," I said again.What the heck, I thought to myself. I might as well go the whole hog.Julie turned away while I swapped my underpants for the knickers, whichwere large enough to contain my manhood. Then I pulled the two pantiegirdles on over the top. I even managed to fasten the bra in place all bymyself, and padded out the cups with rolled-up tights."Well done," said Elaine. "Right, let's do something about thoseeyebrows, shall we?" My eyebrows?" I exclaimed. "Elaine, why do you need to do. She rolled into the open air Scottsdale bar in a tight white t-shirt, her thirty-year-old 34-Bs unconstrained by a bra. Baggie jeans hung low on her hips along with a thick black motorcycle belt and matching boots. She felt like an incredibly sexy dyke when she walked up to her gorgeous blonde girlfriend. Beata did a double-take, and when her crystal blue eyes met Jacquie’s, there was only disappointment. After too many shots and too many tears, Beata broke up with her. “I like femme chicks. I like married, femme chicks,” Beata explained coldly, her tantalizing accent now sounding like a super villain to Jacquie’s shocked ears. Too emotionally fragile to try to take on another relationship, or to wade into the local lesbian scene, Jacquie hunkered down in her house, guiltily jillin’-off to porn and the hot little girl next door. When the little nymph rose to all fours and arched her back before strolling over to the pool, Jacquie needed to go into a higher gear. She peeled her.
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